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Preface:
I did some different type of awareness exercises yesterday. No mantras, just awareness. Being, and breathing. Interesting...as I was able to recall one really long dream, instead of a bunch of different ones like usual. I think I like this.

DR 1

So I am in a HUGE, really nice house. I am supposed to be house sitting in my friends' absence. Some not so good friends of mine have convinced me that I should have a house party. Not just any party- but a huge party- (In my mind, its a huge party, like the one form the movie "Project X"). I am weary, but my girl entourage goes about making plans in the background. The place slowly starts filling up but I am not into it. I'm looking a t a bookshelf of encyclopedias, which I haven't seen in ages. I'm kind of taken by them. One of my guy friends is carrying on a conversation with me but I'm only half listening. He's holding a collection of about 8 bandannas, all different colors. I halfway wonder what he's going to do with those, but he keeps talking about some girl he is interested in. I'm not really listening because I am too busy looking for the encyclopedia that would have Belly dance in it. Its missing. So I skip that and look for Dance. As I'm looking for it, the guy kind of tells me that he's not going to pursue the girl anymore..and out of a kind of disappointment, gives me a pink bandanna. I'm like, ok - did i miss something? He is my friend, but I feel that I know he goes through that kind of stuff all the time so I am not concerned with how he feels about some random girl.

Meanwhile, people are partying all over the place- drinking alcohol, dancing and getting wild. I'm totally not feeling it, but I'm also not caring. Just letting people do whatever, and... walking around like I have all the money in the world, so I care less what is being destroyed. Then I come to one of the master bedrooms, and its COMPLETELY trashed. The level of trash finally upsets me and I start telling my entourage that people need to start getting the f*ck out of here. Its all done so politely and is hilarious to me in my mind. When most of the people are gone and the bedroom is empty, there are shoes- loads of shoes everywhere. The bed mattresses have been derailed and they are on the floor. I remember telling the girls that they will have to clean those and then replace them because I need a place to sleep tonight.

There is so much trash everywhere that I can hardly walk. Loads of trash and shoes, all kinds of sizes everywhere. I find a trash bag and I start to try to collect all of the shoes when I see these two guys and a girl taking pictures. That's when I get rude and tell them they have to leave now. I'm really pissed because I am so angry at the amount of shoes people just left here. I am walking behind them and showing them out. The go outside and I notice a painting on one of the walls beside the kitchen back door. Its periwinkle blue with a dainty flower. Someone has spilled some kind of concoction on it so I think I should fix it. I magically get a paintbrush and paint, and start to paint. I fix the periwinkle color so perfectly- it goes on well and I don't need to retouch the flower. I am happy with it- the content feeling I got from last night's dream is back.


Side Note:

For the past two nights I have been content doing things...crafty projects and such in my dreams. Yesterday it was the Christmas tree decorating and today its painting. I am getting this content feeling, like I have a flow of energy while doing something. This seems really nice. I also get this feeling when doing these kinds of things in real life.

Finding a Wallet in the Trash
In my old room from childhood, but lots of the details are different. Grey day outside, a bit dark. It's really messy, something that caused a lot of anxiety in me as a teenager. I see a cardboard box with a little trash in it, it has a picture of a goth girl smoking in it. As I turn away, I suddenly want to take another look at the picture. The box now has a black trash bag in it.

I open it and it has a sleeping bag in it. It has drugs in it. A guy's friend had thrown it out to keep his friend sober. The sleeping bag also has a wallet in it and it is full of cash. I feel excited about it but I know I should return the wallet, cash and all.

Outside it is a sunny day in the center of a city, there is a used book store. Outside a car parks, the guy comes out with the friend who threw out his drugs and wallet and the friend's girlfriend. The guy is angry at his friend for throwing out the wallet, although I get the impression that the guy knows his friend's intentions were good. I know why he is so angry since I saw all the cash in the wallet. I struggle, should I give it back?

Back in my room, I see a teacher of mine. He is looking for his wallet. I give it back to him, cash and all, and he is really relived. I feel good that I did the right thing.

Motorcycle Ride
Outside a store near where I live, my teacher is giving people rides on his motorcycle through the grey day on the winding road, trees on either side. I feel myself lean as we make the bends, he stands on the stirrups of the bike to get balance, he isn't worried about crashing. Back outside the store there is a hotdog stand where people are going to get a greasy snack to eat.

I had a dream where I was able to use one of the tips given to me from here. All I remember from the dream I had last night are flashes of memory but I remember the dream I had while napping today.

It started where I was hanging around this house that was made up of small buildings. I went in one building to have sex with this guy. I was laying down on a mattress on the floor and these wasps would fly around above me then land on me. I freaked out and smacked it off then noticed another. The guy got up to do something and I started concentrating on putting the blanket over my face before a wasp landed then crushed it without feeling like I was going to get harmed. After a bit, the guy laid back down then noticed my concentration with watching the wasps. Before I pulled the blanket up he grabbed it kept me from pulling it up, making me freak out. I explained why I had to do that when a wasp landed on my shoulder. I was freaking out, smacking it off. He laughed and after we had sex he left. I was reluctant to get up. I had an odd feeling. Thats when I noticed the wasp head was still on my shoulder. I had to pull it off and noticed it was hard to do that, like it was holding on. I noticed another and pulled it off too. Then I noticed a snail on my other shoulder. It was latched on, sucking my blood. I pulled it off but its head separated from its body and I had to pull it off too. I reluctantly got up then looked in a full mirror. I saw them all over my body, there were too many to count. I freaked out and started pulling them off one by one until I started to wake up. I stayed asleep however, and the dream reset.

My fiancées mom was visiting and she, some other person, and I were walking down the street over to the building where my dad worked and my fiancée was waiting for us, when I started to insult her. I kept saying one horrible thing after the other and she glared daggers at me. I knew she was getting very angry but I couldn't stop myself. She tried to hit me but I kept dodging. She got frustrated and ran up ahead then jumped in a car. I became amused and jumped out the way when she tried to run me over. She kept turning back around and coming at me again, but I kept jumping out of the way. I stayed amused the entire time, a smile on my face. It got to where she was coming at me too fast for me to jump away so quickly, when she came close enough, I kicked off from the hood of the car and did a flip over top and landed behind it. I did this a couple times before I ran to the house that we were heading too and escaped behind the fence. I was standing in the yard when I realized I shouldn't have been able to do this in real life, and that this area didn't exist in real life, and figured out I was dreaming. I tried to do some sideways flips around the yard as practice (I find it hard to do things that I wouldn't be able to do in real life by lucid means) and, of course, found it hard to do the flips. I kept telling myself that this was a dream and I can do whatever I want in my dreams, and it helped a little, but I decided that I had had enough practice for now and that it was time to get back to the dream. I went inside and upstairs to find my dad working. My finance was telling me how downstairs there was a metal workshop that I would like. I went down and into the room and was amazed by all the machines. The workshop manager saw me and I remembered that you weren't supposed to enter workshops without safety goggles and a hat so I went outside the door. The manager followed me and I apologized. He asked what a girl was doing in there and I told him how I loved building things with metal and how I had taken 5 years of Ag classes in high school. He was impressed and said he would set up an interview. I got excited and told my fiancée. He was happy and we went back upstairs.

We went into the chapel section and sat while people gathered around us, my family was sitting on the row behind us. My cousin was getting married to his boyfriend (he was gay in my dream even though he's married to a woman in real life) My fiancée threw a piece of paper under the row in front of us and I said loudly "How the f*** am I supposed to reach that??" I looked around and noticed people staring at me so I said "excuse my language" and people moved on. After the wedding I went back out to the main part and noticed my dad was gone. Someone told me that the business had shut down and I got upset because I had wanted to work here and was sad my dad was out of a job. I got a trash bag and started gathering things I found. I got a couple of crutches and found my brother looking out the window at my newly married cousin and his husband playing a DS. I asked what was wrong and he said that my cousin had taken his game and wouldn't give it back. The guy next to my brother had a contraption that allowed him to access game consoles, so he accessed my brothers and turned it off. My cousin left with it and I went after him with every intention of getting it back for my brother. I went outside to find the door my cousin used to get back inside, and along the way I picked up some long 2x4s that had broken off of the fence when my fiancées mom tried to ram her way inside. I picked up some more things that I can't remember until I found my cousin in his room in the living quarters. I peeked inside and saw him sleeping, the DS in his pocket. I was making a plan on how to get it back when his husband found me and woke my cousin up. He asked what I was doing and I told him. He laughed and said he would give me back the DS if I gave him something from my trash bag and held something of his. I held out my hand and he dropped a round, ripped in half, rubber thing in my hand. I noticed it was slimy then figured out it was his broken in half, used condom. I threw it and asked him why the crap would he make he hold that. He laughed and took out all 5 of the crutches from my bag and I asked if I could at least have one in case I needed it in the future. He let me have one and I put it back in. He looked at my 2x4s but didn't want them. He gave me the DS back and I was making my way to my brother when I woke up.

This nap lasted 2 hours. I fell asleep for another hour but didn't dream any that time.